Unsure if Executive Coaching is for you?

Trends inform us that executive coaching lingers at a modest adoption rate. A Community Foundation survey on, “what leadership training opportunities leaders currently have” reveals that only 5% get one-on-one executive coaching, while 87% attend workshops and meetings outside of the organization, and 51% connect to a national group of executives. Translation: the majority choose non-individual mass-produced professional education, while a tiny 5% choose to work directly with a coach on developing themselves; half believe in birds of a feather flock together—which is important of course, for any profession.

But here is the surprising part: when asked about, "what leadership training opportunities leaders would like to have," 64% of respondents said they would like to get one-on-one executive coaching, while leadership training and peer-to-peer mentoring measured at around 50%.

If wondering whether “executive coaching is for you” remains somewhat of a mystery to you, then you’re not alone. Spotting good coaching and making your decision to get a coach are two separate concerns. You can spot good coaches and coaching programs by looking at testimonials of course, and by looking for ones that offer a measurement framework for tracking against key development measures, such as, “leadership performance”, “effective communication”, “interpersonal skills”, and various business performance metrics that your performance affects. Nevertheless, you still have to make your individual assessmentt of whether executive coaching is for you—what would eventually lead you to get a coach (or not). And this is where the mystery lies.

Making the decision to get an executive coach has two dimensions, and it is a mystery because one of the two dimensions is hidden. The first dimension encompasses what you can measure, such as, gains in efficiency, increase in revenue, or increased proposal approval rate. The second dimension, the hidden one, is what you are blind to, and therefore cannot measure.

What you can measure.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Are you leading the business dialogue effectively?

Do your peer executives listen and engage when you speak?

I was conducting a 2-hour workshop to open the annual executive board retreat for a national nonprofit organization, and during my presentation, I noticed that two of the 13 participants were not engaged, and one person was seated at the table but looking away from the group, clearly not present. Everyone else was fully engaged offering constant verbal and non-verbal feedback. Therefore, this 77% engagement effectiveness gave me a basis for assessing whether to take action in order to improve engagement—which might be necessary if inconsistent with the larger objectives.

Are you able to articulate business concerns clearly and confidently?

Are you capable of starting a difficult conversation with poise, care and confidence?

One of the recurrent concerns that show up in executive forums that I facilitate is “managing up.” For example, a tech executive wants to tell his CEO about perceived deficiencies in her leadership that are producing dire consequences for the rest of the team. “How often do you avoid starting difficult conversations?” is what I usually ask in order to refocus attention from the general category of "managing", to where the breakdown really exists: the specific action of making effective requests, or starting a conversation that is viewed as difficult because it is uncommon in the present role configuration.

A skilled coach can help you with that which you are able to recognize and acknowledge by identifying and focusing attention to the area of challenge specific to you in your current situation, such as, conflict resolution, interpersonal relations, or exercising responsibility. That’s the first dimension in which you need to make your assessment of whether executive coaching is for you.

Now, the second dimension is the more difficult one because you are blind to it. You cannot see, recognize and acknowledge it for yourself.

What you are blind to.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you project an identity of leadership and authority when you enter the room?

This question points to assessments that only others can make of you. You can self-assess what you project as much as you can see inside your eyeball. We cannot possibly see "who" others see when we enter a room. Once you realize this fact you will learn to seek others' help simply by asking them for honest assessments. A trusted person can tell you what they see, but as we all know, people want to be "tactful" and careful not to hurt your feelings. But this is not about feelings, and a good coach knows that. But an outstanding coach is already attuned to this fact and has ready-to-hand language and practices for you to work with.

Is your business literacy up to standard?

When you join an executive board, no one tells you what is the standard of business literacy of the group – what is the “level” of conversation around here. You will either meet or exceed the standard of that group, or you will operate well below it. It’s tacit. It’s hard to express, and doing so is a form of coaching that peers rarely volunteer. The indicator you’ll have is whether others listen to you or dismiss you when you speak.

Are you able to read situations uncommonly and strategically?

Situations are typically interpreted according to cultural norms and a shared background of knowledge. Leaders who stand out are those who can formulate and speak uncommonly effective and powerful interpretations of situations. For example, if you are often dismissed when speaking, a common interpretation is a personally or a politically charged one; the type that will incur you a psychological hit: “they want to keep me out of the inner circle,” or, “they want to see me fail,”, or “they are racially motivated.” However, an uncommon and much more effective and powerful interpretation would be, “perhaps I am not up to their standard of communication and business literacy, and therefore I must ask and learn.”

Making one interpretation versus the other leads to entirely separate paths and outcomes. The first is frustration, suffering and leads to adversely selecting yourself out of the group. The second is openness, collaboration, learning, and leads to inclusion and potential highly-valued accomplishments. An outstanding coach will know to train you to always choose the high value path.

Do you project confidence and decisiveness under pressure?

You could be the coolest walking cat in the office, but under pressure, all that disappears because a different part of your brain takes over. This is another concern for leaders to confront because it doesn't take much to loose trust in high-stake configurations, another concern in the hidden dimension of assessing coaching needs. An outstanding coach will help you “see” through that hidden dimension of assessment, the dimension that is unseen to you but visible to most everyone else.

Is Executive Coaching is for you?

Executive coaching is for you if you are willing to grant a committed executive coach the trust and authority to guide you safely and confidently through the hidden dimension of your life, work and career. This choice is not to be taken lightly: you are granting authority to a stranger who is willing to work with you and support you in your areas of uncertainty, vulnerability and mostly, where you are stopped in your life, career and role at work. It’s a choice that will require of you the greatest dose of openness, courage and resolve to change what needs to change in your life in order to connect your work to the flow of your life. Not everyone is able to do that. This is why I always recommend to start with a coach that offers a free initial consultation, and during your conversation, listen for how well they are able to attune to your current situation, and whether they are able to offer you valuable insight by the end of the conversation.

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Ernest Stambouly is an Ontological Coach, author, small-business owner, and member of the Executive Coaches of Orange County, bringing high technology to social enterprise. Email ernest at erneststambouly dot com
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/erneststambouly/

Publisher: Ernest Stambouly's Blog - Friday, September 8, 2017